Creating Boundaries Without Guilt

So, you’ve read about creating goals and coming up with a plan to be able to focus on yourself for 10 minutes a day. You’ve taken the time to sit down and analyze your life and how you believe you are measuring up within each of the life’s spheres. (Romantic Relationships, Family, Friends, Personal Development, Professional Development and Lifelong Learning, Health and Fitness, Travel, Recreation and Hobbies, Spirituality and Religion, and Financial Planning). You’ve created your thirty goals and planned out when you will do your monthly check-ins to stay on track. You’ve started practicing the Vixen Method and you’ve now begun to experience some of the pitfalls, potholes and bumps along the way. This is completely normal, in fact if you did not experience some of these difficulties you are either being dishonest with yourself or you are already living an extraordinary life and don’t need the extra encouragement and accountability that The Vixen method provides. And I’d bet if you are sitting here thinking you’ve got this in the bag and that this process towards success is easy that you fall into the former category because no matter where you are in life it could always get bigger, brighter and more fulfilled. So, just remember it’s okay to admit that you are experiencing some problems, roadblocks and frustration along the way.

Acknowledging that change, growth and chasing success is difficult is all a part of the process. It allows us to grow, to analyze, to adjust and to pivot when necessary. Understanding that “what” and the “who” can interfere with our plans to succeed and meet and/or exceed our goals is a pivotal part of the journey. And you might’ve thought that the goal planning and the Daily and Monthly check-ins were going to be the most difficult part of the equation, but you would be wrong and as you work The Vixen Method you are probably experiencing this. The “what” and “who” factors a.k.a. The pitfalls, potholes and bumps are the reasons for the check-ins in the first place and the reason we need to consistently be analyzing our progress and problems so that we can create effective boundaries to maximize our progress and minimize the problems along the way.

Creating boundaries creates opportunities for success, but to most people creating boundaries is almost harder than planning their goals. So, to help streamline this process and help everyone maneuver everything that life throws at them I am breaking down the process that I believe works in conjunction with The Vixen Method. Each day as you are doing your daily check-ins and diving into what is working, what is not, whether your goal is measurable, whether your goal is realistic and achievable, whether your goal is your own and speaks to where you want to go and who you want to be, also take the time to write down what seems to be getting in your way or complicating the process. Writing down your journey and keeping detailed notes is what is going to help you identify the “what” and the “who” factors that are distracting you from your goals or interfering with your ability to succeed. If you aren’t documenting your journey, you won’t be able to see the pitfalls, potholes and bumps or even worse you will lie to yourself about why you are failing because the real answer is scary, overwhelming or hard to digest. Most things in life worth doing are scary, overwhelming and hard so if you are experiencing these types of feelings just trust you are experiencing a step in the right direction.

Once you’ve written down the things that are complicating your progress on a day-to-day basis it is easier to create boundaries to give yourself the space to achieve your goals. When I was first working this process, I kept a daily journal to be able to track my progress on my thirty goals, but additionally to write down how each of my days were and what issues I ran into. I also used my journal as a place to keep notes about whether my goals were still working for me, what I needed to tweak, what difficulties I faced with each goal and how outside forces impacted my days and thus my goals.

To fully break this concept down, let me give you an example. In a week’s time I analyze and assess 7 goals and my progress towards them. I also journal my thoughts, feelings and gratitude toward my life and the goals that I am chasing. But most importantly I identify the “what” and the “who” that have interfered with my progress. I list the ways that I have gotten in my own way and do my best to figure out the “why” and I also list the other outside forces that flooded my week. I talk about how when I don’t pre-plan my meals that I tend to eat things I shouldn’t, I talk about how my desire to have meaningful time with my husband I let other things slide, I talk about how work can be overwhelming and impact my overall mood and thus my desire to achieve my goals, I talk about how societal expectations creep into my mind despite me knowing what I want. Essentially, I talk about anything and everything that has crept in and created havoc in my success but also the strategies I implemented that combated some of the “what” and “who” that tried to knock me off my game. It is this constant “in your face” reality check that helps me create boundaries without guilt. I cannot feel guilty about putting myself first especially when I have the data in front of me to support those boundaries. Boundaries are vital to your own personal growth and success. It is never inappropriate to create healthy boundaries for you to be able to take the necessary steps forward towards your goals, no matter what your inner dialogue says, what society says, or what your friends and family say because those that truly want the best for you will understand. And those that do not understand shouldn’t be put before yourself in the first place. Take back your own personal power and recognize that you are allowed to create boundaries without an ounce of guilt.